القذف السريع

القذف السريع

الأحد 22-03-2009

القذف السريع يؤدي إلى مشاعر جنسية سلبية

السرعة.. في اللقاء الحميم

22 مارس 2009 ـ الشرق الأوسط ـ  د.خليـل فاضـل

سرعة اللقاء الحميم تحدّ من مجال الجنس الرحب لدى الزوجين، وتجعل الفراش واللقاء ضيقاً مخنوقاً، وفي أسوأ الأحوال بالطبع تجهض المشاعر الجنسية والعاطفية، بل توئدها في مهدها، خاصة في بدايات الزواج.

وعلى الرغم من كل ذلك، فإن ردود فعل الرجال الذين يعانون من سرعة القذف تختلف، فبعضهم «لا يدري»، أو «غير عابئ»، أو أنه يتصور أن الأمر غير موجود، وأن هناك زوجة بكل مشاعرها تود أبسط حقوق المعاشرة، وتريد حقها كاملاً في الإشباع والارتواء – بالضبط ـ كما أخذه هو، لكن الزوج أحيانا، أو كثيراً، لا يهتم.

الزوج هنا لا يفكر أصلاً في العمل علي خفض درجة سرعة الرغبة التي في داخله، لأن المسألة عنده غير واردة، ومن هنا يمكن أن نفهم رأي البعض من الرجال ومن المختصين أيضاً، أن السرعة ليست «حالة مرضية»، لكنها محض «أداء بيولوجي»، وفي فهم خاطئ جدا، تكون علامة على الجودة. هنا يبرز السؤال المهم: كم من الرجال بالفعل متضايق من مسألة «القذف السريع» تلك؟. بالفعل يقر البعض ويعترف بأنها مشكلة، ومتى يذهب إلى الدكتور للبحث عن حلّ وعلاج، وأنه بــالفعل يفضــل تجريب «الوصفات الشعبية»، و«نصائح الأصدقاء»، وآراء الصيادلة والجيران وغيرهم، ويمكن أن يجرب الفطرة أو إحساسه، فيبدأ أثناء اللقاء الجنسي بإشغال نفسه وإبعاد انتباهه إلى أمر آخر غير جنسي (ليضبط المسألة، ويهدئ السرعة قليلاً)، وقد يلجأ إلى ممارسات جسدية، علَّها تساعده على ضبط المسألة، مثل الضغط على الفراش، أو عض شفتيه. ومثل تلك الطرق تنجح ـ بعض الشيء – في خفض نيران الرغبة المشتعلة، لكنها لا تنجح في تهدئة سرعة القذف. وهذا يحدث ببساطة لأن «القذف» استجابة فسيولوجية تتم في حُمّى اللقاء، لكن إذا حاول الزوج إشغال نفسه بأمور أخرى غير جنسية، فإن الأمر قد ينعكس سلباً عليه (أي أن يقذف بسرعة أكثر)، دون أن يدري، مما يزيد بالطبع من درجة إحباطه الشديد.

  • فشل التحكم
    •  هنا قد تصل المسألة إلى ذروتها، وتتلخص في أن فشل التحكم الشهواني يؤدي إلى مشاعر جنسية سلبية (غير كفؤ)، فها هي الزوجة غير مستمتعة، لم تصل إلى ذروتها، حزينة، مكبوتة، محبطة، بل وقد تكون مليئة بالغضب والحسرة، والبعض يلزمن الصمت. وقد يبرد فجأة، وقتياً، ثم يكره الموضوع، وهذه مصيبة كبري قد تصبح مزمنة وقد تخفي وراءها كل المشاكل الأخرى، كتدخل الأهل، وساعات العمل، والإنفاق، والأصحاب المُشتركين.. إلى آخر القائمة. وهنا يتعاظم الإحساس بالذنب لدى الرجل، ويتطور إلى يأس، أو ربما تجنب كامل للتوتر أو الخجل بالابتعاد عن اللقاء جملةَ وتفصيلاً، أو الالتقاء نادرا. وهذا ما قد يُولد ما يصطلح عليه بـ «العطل الجنسي الثانوي»Secondary Impotence نتيجة توقع الفشل، والسرعة، وعدم القدرة على التحكم، أي أن العجز وفقدان الرغبة يكونان رد فعل وحيداً لسرعة القذف.
    •  ردود الفعل للسرعة في اللقاء الحميم
    •  في حالة ذلك القذف المبكر، لا يتمكن فيها الرجل من السيطرة إرادياً على عملية القذف، بمعنى أنه عند استثارته، يصل إلى ذروة نشوته (بسرعة جداً). ولدى بعض الأخصائيين يختلف الأمر، حيث إن التوقيت وفرق الزمن بين «الإيلاج» و«الإنزال» ضروري وحيوي، كذلك عدد مرات الدخول والخروج، ودرجة إشباع الزوجة، وإمكانية وصولها إلى الرعشة Orgasm من عدمها.
    هناك من يقول أن 30 ثانية (تشخيص قذف سريع)، ومن يقول دقيقة ونصف هي أيضا «قذف سريع»، وآخرون يقولون دقيقتان، وهكذا. أما عالِما العلاج الجنسي الأشهر، ماستر وجونسون، فيقولان «لا.. فالرجل القاذف سريعاً هو الذي يقذف قبل أن تصل زوجته إلى الرعشة الـ Orgasm في 50% من
    لقاءاته معها».

عندما يتمكن الرجل من الاحتفاظ بدرجة إثارة جنسية عالية، دون حدوث القذف، فإنه يكون منتشياً، سعيداً، منتصباً، دون أن يتوتر ويتسرع ويخلص الليلة بسرعة. وبعكسه، فقد يحدث أن يبتئس أو يندم ويحزن وينام مكبوتاً ومحبطا، ويعتريه إحساس بالذنب تجاه زوجته. كذلك فإن عدم قدرة الذكر على إدراك مسألة «الهياج الجنسي» في حجمها الطبيعي، والتعامل معها بمهارة وكياسة، تؤدي به إلى الانزلاق إلى «الاستعجال»، وبالتالي ـ وكنتيجة طبيعية ـ إلى سرعة القذف. عندئذ، وكأن عضوه التناسلي قد تخدّر وصار خارج دائرة الجسد، لا يمكن التحكم فيه، ومن ثم لا يتمكن من فعل أي شيء، أو ممارسة أي فعل جنسي.

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