أسباب قبول المرأة أن تكون الزوجة الثانية:

إعداد مرام ناصر من فريق الدكتور خليل فاضل العلاجي

بدايةً القبول بزواج له أولويات، من البنات من تنظر إلى ذلك بالنظرة المادية كصفقة أو المكسب الاجتماعي أو الالتحاق بركب المتزوجات هروباً من البقاء بدون زواج أو حالات إرغامية أو هروب من حياة ضاغطة أو ظروف صعبة.

كذلك القبول بأن تكون الرقم الثاني له دوافع نفسية وأسباب:

أولاً: التقبل للموضوع: أن يكون الموضوع وارد في قاموس البنت، يرجع لأسباب مختلفة الدور الأكبر في التنشئة، منها أن تكون ابنة الزوجة الثانية أصلاً حيث تتعاطف مع الموضوع، أو أن تكون الفكرة مطروحة لدى الأهل أو المجتمع الصغير الذي يحيط بالبنت، وجود تجارب سابقة من الأقارب.

ثانياً: النظرة إلى الزواج : نظرة أحادية، مثل النظرة المادية أو المكاسب الاجتماعية فيما لو كان صاحب منصب أو ثري، الرغبة في تكوين أسرة أو الانجاب على حساب الاحتياجات العاطفية لها كامرأة، الظروف المعيشية الجديدة مثل تأمين الحياة و عدم الالتزام الكامل نحو الحياة الزوجية (نصف  زواج) القيام بالسفر، الخروجات الكثيرة…

ثالثاً: الظهور بشكل أناني على حساب دافع لاشعوري وهو كره الذات أو النظرة المتدنية للنفس: إلحاق الضرر بالذات، مشاكل في الطفولة تجاه الأب أو الأم (كمحاولة للأخذ بالثأر).

رابعاً: الوقوع في حب رجل متزوج من الناحية النفسية يعني البحث عن أجزاء ناقصة من أنفسهن، مثل: احتياجات نفسية غير مشبعة.

وهذا يوفر الظهور بدور البطولة عند وجود فارق بالسن وتكون فتاة عشرينية، تشعر الفتاة تجاه الزوج بمشاعر الأبوة حتى لو كانت من طبقة ارستقراطية. وذلك في حالات (أب متوفى، فارق بالسن بين الأب وابنته وعدم التواصل العاطفي،أب قاسي، انشغاله بعمله أو علاقاته العابرة، هجرته لهم، ظروف عمله لسنوات طويلة في بلد ثانية)

*ومن نواحي نفسية أخرى هناك من الأشخاص (ذكور أو إناث) لديهم تعدد في العلاقات : يعني أكثر من زواج وانفصال وطلاق وهذا يزيد من استسهال الدخول في علاقة مع رجل متزوج.

*وطبعاً هناك الكثير من الصور الذهنية حول تفضيل الزواج من متزوج لأفكار تتعلق بحماية النفس والسند، الاستقرار، إنجاب طفل يشيل الكبرة ثم الانفصال لامشكلة لديهم، المكاسب المادية حتى لو انتهى الزواج بانفصال (صفقة).

كل ذلك يعود إلى وجود تشوه في فهم الزواج والنظرة غير المتكاملة.

*المرأة التي تقبل لزوجها الزواج من أخرى :

1.تكون العلاقة أصلاً غير صحية وترغب للخلاص من بعض طباعه (حيث يكون الزواج على ورق ولا وجود لمشاركة حقيقية سوى أنها أم الأولاد)، حيث يكون الموضوع وارد بالنسبة لها بكل الأحوال.

2.المرأة التي تدفعه للزواج أو تقوم بالخطبة له: تدرك هذه المرأة أنه سيفعل ذلك بنفسه، فتخاف على كيانها وتقوم بذلك لتظهر أنها مثالية وتزداد معزتها في قلبه. هذه المرأة تتخلى قليلاً عن دورها كـ زوجة وتكون بدور مزدوج (أم وزوجة).

*أما من يقوم بالترويج لذلك في الإعلام أو بعض الشخصيات المعروفة فلهن نفس الأسباب وأسباب أخرى خاصة بأنماط حياتهن، لديهم مقاييس تتعلق بالحفاظ على الشهرة كأولوية بالدرجة الأولى قد تترافق على حساب أمور ثانية مهمة يجب التنازل عنها.

وهذا يتناسب مع الجنسين من الشخصيات المعروفة، على اعتبار أنهم بشر ولهم مشاكل واحتياجات كالآخرين بالإضافة إلى حياة الشهرة أيضاً لها تأثيرات كبيرة؛ الترويج بحد ذاته يعني الدفاع عن الموقف، لتفادي الهجوم في المجلات والصحف لهم أو نوع من أنواع الدفاع عن الخيارات بطريقتهم على منابرهم ومتابعيهم لكن ما ينطبق على حياتهم لا ينطبق على حياة العامة من الناس بمختلف طبقاتهم.

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