العياده النفسيه

الضحك وعلاقته ببعض الأمراض النفسية

الضحك وعلاقته ببعض الأمراض النفسية

السبت 21-05-2016

بقلم دكتور خليل فاضل
الضحك وسيلة فعالة لعمل التوازن بين الواقع و المثالي في حياتنا اليومية، و بدون المرح سيجد الإنسان الحياة لا تطاق بسبب التعقيدات التي يواجهها، كما يزيد الضحك من نشاط الإنسان و حماسه للعمل.
والضحك أنواع فهناك الضحكة المتكلفة و الضحكة الصفراء، وضحكة التشجيع أو الضحكة المقصود بها السخرية من الاخرين ، بوسع الانسان أن يضع الابتسامة على وجهه بصورة اَليه كأحد مظاهر النفاق الاجتماعي، فأي أنواع الضحك المقصود كعلاج نفسي؟ ومتى يصبح الضحك فى حد ذاتة مرضا و ليس علاجاَ ؟
الضحك يرتبط بالانفعال و بالتالى يساعد على إخراج الشحنات النفسية والطاقات الداخلية الموجودة لدى الانسان ، و لكن الأفراد يختلفون في مدى قدرتهم على الضحك. ومن المعروف علمياَ أن الشخص الذى لا يستطيع الضحك أو البكاء تبعاً للمواقف أكثر الناس عرضة للأمراض العضوية و النفسية .
و لقياس حالات الاكتئاب النفسي ومدى هذا الاكتئاب لدى الشخص نعمد الى إلقاء طرفة او نكتة، لمعرفة رد الفعل لدى هذا الشخص، فإذا تجاوب مع الطبيب و ضحك لسماعه هذه النكتة فمرضه يكون رد فعل عرضى لحدث حياتى مر به وسرعان ما يشفى من الاكتئاب لأنه حالة عرضية تستجيب بسرعة للعلاج بعكس شخص أخر يظل عابس الوجه غير مكترث بما سمع، ولا تظهر على وجهه أي ابتسامة ، عندها يعرف الطبيب أن اكتئاب هذا المريض حقيقى و يحتاج لفترة أطول من العلاج .
و إن كانت كثرة الضحك بطريقة غير طبيعية دليل أيضاَ على المرض، فهناك مرض يعرف بالهوس الدورى .
هذا المرض يتميز بنوبات أو فترات من الكأبة الشديدة تعقبها نوبات من المرح غير العادى . فالمريض يكون خفيف الظل لدرجة اضحاك من حوله ولكن لا توجد ضوابط على أفعال هذا المريض و لا يشعر بالخجل لدرجة أنه يخرج عارياً في الشارع !!
وهذا مرض وظيفي و له تغيرات كميائية. و يصيب الفص الأمامي من المخ ، و تحدث نتيجة لحادثة أو و جود ورم فى المخ أو مرض في الفص الأمامي من المخ ويحتاج لعلاج دوائي ونفسي.
كذلك هناك ما يعرف بالشيزوفرينيا أو الفصام العقلي ، ويحدث فى مرحلة الشباب حتى سن 18 سنة، وفيها يأتي المريض بحركات هزلية أمام المراَه و يضحك على نفسه، وتصدر عنه تعليقات و نكات من النوع و يشعر بنوع من السعادة. وهناك أيضا ما يعرف بالهيستيريا و كلمة هيستيريا لا تعنى الجنون كما يعتقد البعض بل هى مرض نفسي يصيب النساء أكثر من الرجال وفيه يحاول المريض شد انتباه الآخرين ، ولما كان الضحك أكثر من البكاء فى شدة الانتباه فكثيراً ما تلجأ المرأة المصابة بالهيستيريا الى الضحك كوسيلة لشد الانتباه و محاولة التأثير على المحيطين بها والاهتمام بها، وقد يكون رد فعل للتنشئة في الصغر، فنوع التربية يلعب دورا هاما فى صحة الإنسان النفسية، اذ نجد أن بعض الاباء يعامل أبناءه بمنتهى الصرامة و الحزم.
فالناس الذين يضحكون جيداَ ترتفع لديهم نسبة هرمون الاندروفين و بالتالى يتمتعون بصحة جيدة . وقد عرف درويد الضحك أو الدعابة بقوله :
الضحك يطلق الطاقة المخزونة فى الانسان و الافكار و الاحاسيس و المشاعر و هو عملية و ظيفية لحفظ التوازن النفسي للإنسان. وهذا هو الضحك الذي نقصده بالعلاج النفسي وليس الضحك الذي يقصد به المواربة.
وقد تبين أن الضحك علاج لحالات مرضية كثيرة و التغلب على كثير من الأعراض التى يعانى منها بعض الأشخاص مثل الصداع أو ضيق التنفس الذى ينتج عن الضغط العصبى .
أحيانا يصاحب الضحك دموع، فما الفرق بين دموع الحزن و دموع الفرح؟
لم يجد العلماء أي فرق بين دموع الضحك و دموع الحزن، فالمواد الكيميائية التي تتكون منها الدموع واحدة فى كل الحالات ولكن الحالة النفسية للشخص هى الى تختلف من حالة لأخرى.

 

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النوم سلطان

النوم سلطان

الإثنين 13-06-2016

بقلم دكتور خليل فاضل
النوم سلطان، يقولها الناس تعبيراَ عن تلك الحالة الجميلة كناية عن أن النائم يستمتع بسلطانه و لا ينافسه أحد في هذا الاحساس. يقول الشاعر العربي ( ما أطال النوم عمراَ ولا قصر في الأعمار طول السهر ) هذا غير صحيح علمياَ لأن النوم المعقول و المناسب لكل شخص مهم و ضروري للصحة النفسية و العامة كذلك فإن الحرمان من النوم يؤذي الإنسان ، فهو يستخدم كوسيلة للتعذيب لأنتزاع الاعترافات من الأسرى و المعتقلين بعد إنهاك قواهم العقلية و الجسدية.
و هناك النوم المفرط ، أو علها حالة الارتباط المرضي بالسرير نوماَ ، شبة نوم ، و نصف استيقاظ ، خمول وكسل وعدم رغبة فى الخروج من شرنقة التوحد بالفراش .
أما الأرق قد يرتبط بعرض عضوي مثل السعال و يختفي بمجرد زواله. الأرق من أكثر الأمراض شيوعاَ و أكثرهم إزعاجا، وليس معناه قلة النوم فحسب لكنه يعني أكثر ما يعني أن النوم أو محاولة النوم بدون فائدة فيقوم الإنسان فى الصباح و كأنه ( مضروب علقة ) و يصيبه الاكتئاب، التوتر، الضيق والتوهان، و لا يجوز طبياَ أو علمياَ و صف المنومات أو صرفها هكذا دون أخذ تاريخ نفسي وعضوي للحالة بكل تفاصيلها، و يفضل علاج الأسباب بغير المنومات و المهدئات التي أصبح الناس و يتعودون عليها فلو كان لها نفس الشكل و الحجم و اللون و كانت مجرد نشا و سكر ( أى حبة ترضية ) لنام . إذن فهو فعل التعاطى لحبة فى وقت محدد لغرض النوم و بصرف النظر عن محتواها و هو أيضا فعل الحقن لمريض بالمستشفى من قبل ممرضة حتى لو كان المحتوى ماء ملح فتعمل كل خلايا المخ الإدراكية فينام قرير العين دون مشاكل .
و الأرق كذلك يحوي فى طيات تعريفه أكثر من مشكلة تتعلق بالنوم منها عدم القدرة على بدء عملية النوم ، أو النوم الخفيف جداً و المتقطع السهل الإزعاج و كذلك الاستيقاظ مبكراَ جداَ دون قدرة على استعادة النوم مرة أخرى . إن توقيت ظهور الأرق هام جداَ لتحديد الأسباب بدقة. و الأرق أشكال و أنواع أهمها ثلاثة :
1- الأرق العارض يبدأ و يستمر فجأة لمدة أسبوع، و يأتي من عدم القدرة على التكيف لموقف حاد و ضاغط مثل البدء في وظيفة جديدة .
2- الأرق قصير الأمد و يستمر من شهر إلي ستة أشهر و يرتبط بمواقف ضاغطة و مستمرة ( مثل مرض أو وفاة عزيز ) أو لظروف و عوامل بيئيه كالضوضاء المستمرة مثلاَ .
3- الأرق المزمن و هو ذلك الذي يمتد لأكثر من ستة أشهر و يرتبط بوجود اضطرابات كثيرة مثل الاكتئاب، التوتر، القلق و الفراغ و الأمراض العضوية .
و للأرق ظواهر شتى تظهر على صاحبها بالنهار مثل ضعف التركيز ، الذاكرة الضعيفة ، صعوبة التكيف مع المضايقات البسيطة ، و انخفاض القدرة على الاستمتاع اجتماعياَ ، كذلك فإن المؤرقين أكثر عرضة للإصابة بحوادث السيارات نتيجة الإجهاد العصبي، وتزيد نسبة الأرق في النساء عن الرجال و تزيد كذلك بتقدم العمر.
العلاج :
بشكل عام لا يمكن علاج الأرق بدون تقييم شامل يعرف فيه تاريخ النوم و عاداته – التاريخ الطبي ( بمعنى أي إصابات أو أمراض عضويه أو نفسية ) التاريخ الاجتماعى ( الحياة الاسرية وشكلها ) و مراجعة شاملة لكل العقاقير التى يتناولها المؤرق . و تاريخ النوم و عاداته تعني توقيت الأرق أي هل يجد صعوبة في النوم أم أن نومه متقطع ، كما يسأل عن الوقت المحدد الذي يذهب فيه إلي الفراش و عن شكل الغرفة التى ينام فيها هل هي مريحة أم مزعجة هل هي معتدلة الحرارة أم لا، و الأهم من كل ذلك السؤال عن العادات التى تسبق الخلود الي النوم الاسترخاء أم عصر الذهن و استرجاع مشكلات العمل ، قراءة أم مشاهدة التليفزيون و أي قراءة و أي مشاهدة ، هل هناك صعوبات في التنفس ، ضيق توقف لحظي ، حركات لا إرادية في الأطراف كما أن حالات الألم المزمن مثل ذلك الذي يصيب أسفل الظهر لها دور كبير في إحداث الارق و يعد الإجهاد العصبي و الإكتئاب من أهم الأضطرابات المسببة للأرق . و بما أن الأرق عرض وليس مرض فعلينا بعلاج الأسباب إجهاداَ كانت أم إكتئاب أم مرض عضوي أو وسواس أو حالة ذعر و هلع أو اضرابات و توترات زوجية و علينا بتعليم المؤرق كيفية الاسترخاء الذهني و الجسدي من خلال تمارين محددة تسترخي فيها كل عضلات الجسم من منبت الشعر إلى أخمص القدمين يتبعها تمرين التنفس في بطء و هدوء باستنشاق الهواء المعبأ بالثقة و الهدوء من الأنف و زفر الهواء المحمل بالهم و الغم و النكد و طرده خارج النفس و الجسم و استخدام الفراش للنوم فقط و للقاءات الزوجية الجنسية التى تساعد على النوم جداَ ، كما يجب علينا أن نستخدم الخيال الموجه نحو مشاهد و مناظر محببة مثل شط البحر و إذا لم تستطع النوم فى خلال 20 دقيقة فعليك أن تنهض و تقوم بعمل شئ مريح للنفس و أعرف أن عتادك و إصرارك على النوم و التقلب في الفراش قلقا مؤرقاَ سيزيد من حالة الأرق، كما يجب علينا عدم تناول المنومات و المهدئات إلا تحت إشراف الطبيب ولفترة محددة و في الحالات القصوي لأنها لا تعالج و إنما تحل مشكلة وقتية، بل على العكس فى حالات كثيرة قد تؤدي الي التعود الذي يصل إلي حد الإدمان و يصاحب متعاطيها بما يسمى ( الأرق الاجتماعي ) أي أن الأرق يزيد عن ما قبل استخدام المنومات بعد الانقطاع عنها نظراَ للأثر غير المنتظم الذى أحدثته المنومات في المخ .

 

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الأب والدور الأسري الغائب بقلم دكتور خليل فاضل

الأب والدور الأسري الغائب بقلم دكتور خليل فاضل

السبت 18-06-2016

مما لا شك فيه أن مصر تعانى الأن من مشكلة تزيد يوماَ بعد يوم ، أننا أصبحنا مجتمعاَ يفتقد إلى الأب، يفتقد وجوده النفسي ، المعنوي و المادي بل و النوعي المتميز مقارنة بأجيال مضت مع التسليم بكل المتغيرات الاجتماعية.
فالطفل المصري لا ينتظر أكثر من أن يتربى فى كنف والديه ( وجود أبيه شخصاَ و موضوعاَ ) و هذا حقه لا ينازعه فيه أحد.
لقد أصبح غياب الأب نفسياً و جسدياَ علامة فارقة للطفولة المصرية و لجيل المراهقين و الشباب الحالي.
إن الأسرة ( هي التى تأسر أعضاءها إليها ولا تدعهم ينفكون عنها لا بالهجرة و لا بالشرود ) و ( يعني الزواج أن يكون الرجل و المرأة زوجاَ للأخر معه ، حوله ولا يمكن أن يتحقق من على بعد ) .. إذا اختل بعض أو كل ذلك تتزعزع أركان المجتمع و يختل المفهوم الأسري الموحد الشامل.
يهتز مفهوم الوالدية و يتصدع مصطح التربية و بعد أن تطول هجرة هذا الأب حبة اللقاح يفقد اسمه معناه ، تتغير ملامحه و تبتعد تشكيلته العصبية و النفسية عن روح امرأته و أولاده .. المصيبة الكبرى التي وقعت هي أن بعض إن لم يكن أغلب هؤلاء الأولاد لا يرون ضرورة أو احتياجا بهذا الاب .. ونجدهم يصابون باضطرابات نفسية و إجتماعية تتمحور حول الاحساس بعدم الأمان و فقدان الثقة بالنفس.
إن فلسفة الأب الغائب نفسياَ و جسدياَ أو أيهما، أصبحت سائدة اليوم في الخطاب الثقافي و معظمها للأسف قد أصبح يعتمد على النصح و الوعظ ( وإيه يعني ما هو الأم تقوم بدور الأب و خلاص ) و قد يقود الخطاب إلي تبرير متدن مثال ( قضا أخف من قضا) ( أب غائب أحسن من أب فاسد ) .
بمعنى أخر تغيير الوضع ؟ .. أمر جد خطير لأن الأولاد يضيعون فيه، فلا نركز عليهم و على مستقبلهم و إنما نتيجة إلى مناقشة أحوالنا نحن . هنا يكون القلق العميق متجذراَ فينا و كأنه لا يوجد مشكلة ولا يوجد أطفال يعانون و لا توجد أجيال قادمة يتهددها خطر التفكك.
هل لم يعد لنا سوى إعادة تعريف الأبوة و فق منظور إجتماعي مهم : ماهو دور الأب البيولوجى لأني طفل ؟!
هل كان مستعداَ لِلعب دوره الحقيقي كوالد ، مربي و مسئول ؟! هل يصل الأمر بطرح حاد و جرئ أليس كل الذكور رجالا و الذى يخلف أباَ .. هل أصبح الأب عاملاَ زواجياَ تولد له أطفال ليربيهم الأخرون ( الأم – الجد- العم – الخال – و ربما الجيران ؟! ) و هنا ينزع من الأمر روح النص ، فلا يوجد أب ، ويوجد أخرون يلعبون دور الأب ؟!..
الأب يعني في المفهوم الأسري ، الاجتماعي و التربوي ، الرجل الذى يعرف كيف يربي أولاده فى مواجهة (أسرة قد تتكامل بدون الأب) بصرف النظر عن عيوبها ، نواقصها التي تنطبع على كل فرد حسب حاله نوعه و نوعيته ! يصبح الأب حبة اللقاح عدوانياَ على الذرية و على شكل الأسرة بل و مؤسساَ لمفهوم ( اللامبالاَة و الأنانية).
وإذا سرى مفهوم الأب حبة اللقاح و إنتشر و اذا صرحت النسوه بأنه لا لازمة إطلاقاَ لعودة ذلك الأب فإن الأمر جد خطير و يحتاج إلى مراجعة شاملة و جديدة .

 

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المشاعر..ما ظهر منها وما بطن

المشاعر..ما ظهر منها وما بطن

الإثنين 7-11-2016

كام مرة حد اشتكالك وقولتله “ربنا هيفرجها”، “إنت حالك أحسن من غيرك”، “بس شوف نص الكوباية المليان”؟ كام مرة الشخص ده فعلا ماكنش عارف يشوف نص الكوباية المليان أو سمع نصايح شبها كتير مانفعتش؟ كام مرة قلتله “كلنا لها” أو “ومين سمعك”؟ وكام مرة رديت عليه بشكواك انت شخصياً؟
كتير في علاقاتنا لما بتظهر بوادر مشاعر قوية، أحد الطرفين بيبتدي يحس بالخطر! يعني إحنا صحاب بس بلاش نتكلم عن الخوف أو الغيرة والأهم من كده بلاش نتعاتب مثلاً. المفاجأة إن دي من أخطر الحاجات اللي بتبوظ العلاقات لإن المشاعر مابتهددش العلاقات، ولكن اللي بيهددها هو تواصل المشاعر من عدمه وكيفية عمل ده.
مهم كمان نعرف إن مفيش مشاعر صح ومشاعر غلط، ودي في حد ذاتها رسالة مغلوطة وصلت لكثير مننا من خلال التربية والنشأة منذ نعومة الأظافر. في تربية الأطفال، بنسمع حاجات كتير على سياق “مافيش ولد بيعيط”..”البنات الحلوة مابتزعلش” .. “متعيطيش بليل عشان الملايكة ماتزعلش”…أو “متعيطش في الحمام عشان الشيطان مايجيش”. وأحياناً تانية بتوصل نفس الرسالة لكن بطريقة غير مباشرة وبتكون بصيغة الأمر: “إجمد”..”شد حيلك”. كلها عبارات كابتة للشعور الإنساني الطبيعي واللي للأسف بدأنا نوصفه على إنه “مشاعر سلبية”. الأسوأ من ده هو ربط شعور شخصي بشعور ناتج في شخص تاني ممكن يؤدي للشعور بالندم. فمثلاً لو الأم تقول لطفل “لو فضلت زعلان أنا هزعل منك” الموضوع كده أخد بعد تاني مخيف جدا! كده الطفل مطلوب منه إنه مايزعلش وإنه ينهي إحساس الزعل وإلا الأم كمان هتزعل. القصة مش هتنتهي في المشهد ده لإن لو الطفل فضل زعلان، وبكده الأم كمان زعلت، يبقى كده الطفل هيشعر بالذنب (على اعتبار إن فيه علاقة رابطة ما بين الأم والطفل). وده اختبار نفسي قاسي جداً لأي شخص! هنا الطفل بيتحرم من حقه في إنه يعبر عن شعور، أياً كان إيه هو الشعور. الأهم من كده إن أي شعور في الدنيا بيكون وراه احتياج .. يعني مثلاً الشعور بالخوف بيكون وراه احتياج للشعور بالأمان! بمجرد كبت الشعور (الخوف) ده مش معناه أبداً إن الاحتياج تمت تلبيته، ولكن تم إخماده وفقط وده بالتالي بيسبب وجع نفسي.
من هنا الشخص ده بيكبر بنهج معين ممكن يطبع على معظم علاقاته (علاقته بزوجته، وأصدقائه، ورئيسه في الشغل). نفس الشخص ده لو دخل في موقف مع شخص آخر بيشتكي، هل هيدي الشخص ده الحق في “الفضفضة” وهو نفسه شخصياً اتحرم منه؟ عادة لأ…ومن هنا هيدخل في حلقة تانية، زي اللي كبر فيها، ويبدأ يقوله “مافيش ولد بيعيط”، بس بلغة الكبار، واللي هي زي “معلش، بس بص لنص الكوباية المليان”. النية بتكون سليمة جداً، لكن النتيجة ممكن تكون عكس كده. فكر لما انت بتشتكي لحد، بترتاح مع اللي يقولك إنه مقدر زعلك، ولا اللي يقولك “إنت مكبر الموضوع!” بنية إنه يخرجك “من اللي إنت فيه”.
الخطوات لحل النمط ده من العلاقات تتمثل في 1) ملاحظة الشعور 2) فهم طبيعة الشعور 3) التعليق عن الشعور الملاحظ كأنه معكوس في مرآه بدون محاولة تبديله بشعور آخر 4) تقدير الشعور حتى لو بمجرد إنك تقول للشخص ده “أنا عارف إن الموضوع ده صعب بالنسبة لك..أنا مقدر”. العنصر الأهم في نجاح العملية دي هو قدرتك على الاستماع والإنصات لإن بكل بساطة كل الناس بتدي نصايح، بس مش كل الناس بتسمع. الاستماع له مفعول السحر وهو مش بالشيء الهين أبداً.. ربنا –سبحانه وتعالى- قال: “قَدْ سَمِعَ اللَّهُ قَوْلَ الَّتِي تُجَادِلُكَ فِي زَوْجِهَا وَتَشْتَكِي إِلَى اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ يَسْمَعُ تَحَاوُرَكُمَا ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ سَمِيعٌ بَصِيرٌ” ودي آية فيها جمال وهيبة القول والشكوى والاستماع. ولكن برده الخطوات دي هتكون صعبة لو لم يقبل الإنسان مشاعره هو شخصياً..يعني قبل ما تقبل مشاعر غيرك أو ترفضها، فكر هل إنت سامح لمشاعرك؟ هل عادي إنك تكون زعلان أو خايف أو مبسوط أو متحمس أو زهقان أو غضبان؟ هل عادي إنك تعبر عن مشاعرك دي؟ وإيه ممكن تكون الصعوبات اللي بتواجهك لما بتحاول تتعرف على مشاعرك؟
ريم ضبف ـ معالجة نفسية من فريق فاضل النفسي
مستوحاة من http://www.heartsintrueharmony.com/

 

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8 نصائح عديمة الفائدة للأشخاص الذين يعانون الاكتئاب

8 نصائح عديمة الفائدة للأشخاص الذين يعانون الاكتئاب

الإثنين 7-11-2016

إعداد مارية الحلبي معالجة نفسية من فريق الدكتور خليل فاضل
غالباً ما يُنظر إلى الاكتئاب من زوايا مختلفة تماما من قبل أولئك الذين عانوا منه والذين لم يعانوا منه. إذا كنت محظوظا بما فيه الكفاية و لم تواجه الاكتئاب في حياتك، قد يكون من الصعب عليك المساعدة على الرغم من بذل قصارى جهدك. وتوفير المشورة بمحبة غالبا ما تكون غير فعالة بسبب سوء الفهم التي تحتويها.
إذا كنت ترغب حقاً في مساعدة الناس الذين يعانون من الاكتئاب، يجب تطوير فهم أعمق للحالة. هذه هي الطريقة الوحيدة التي يمكن أن تُساعد في توجيه أحبائك من الظلمات الى النور. تجنب استخدام هذه النصائح العامة التي تسبب من حيث لا تدري الضرر أكثر مما تنفع.

8 عبارات في الواقع لا تساعد المصابين بالاكتئاب:
1. “ربما تحتاج إلى السماح لنفسك بأن تبكي، سوف تشعر بتحسن كبير بعد ذلك”…
الاكتئاب ليس مجرد لحظة واحدة من الحزن ، إنه كما لو كانت الحياة تُشاهد من خلال فلتر، شعور مستمر من اللون الأزرق. لهذا السبب، السماح لهم بالبكاء لن يُشكل أي من أشكال الانفراج.

وفي كثير من الحالات، الذين يعانون من الاكتئاب لا يملكون الدافع ولا القدرة على البكاء.

  1. “يجب عليك النهوض والخروج. فبعد أن تحصل على يوم جيد ستعود الى طبيعتك”…
    إذا كنت تريد حقاً مساعدة الناس الذين يعانون من الاكتئاب، عليك أن تدرك أنها تستغرق وقتا طويلاً للعلاج. الخروج وقضاء يوم جيد قد توفر راحة مؤقتة، ولكنها أبعد ما تكون عن العلاج الشاف. كثير من الناس يخطئون عندما يعتقدون أن قضاء يوم جيد يعني أنهم شُفوا تماماً، الأمور لاتمضي على هذا النحو.

وبما أنه لا يمكنك التحقق بنفسك لمواجهة هذه الحالات، تجد نفسك تقوم يإلغاء المخططات وتركهم معلّقين. إنهم دائما لا يعرفون كيف يمكنهم مساعدتك ويمكن للخلافات أن تكبر بينكما. الاكتئاب يمكن أن يشكّل ضغطاً هائلاُ على الصداقات، وهو بالتأكيد ليس شيئا يرغب الذين يعانون من الاكتئاب بتقديمه في العلاقة.

  1. “توقف عن الوقوع في الأفكار السلبية، وركّز في الامور الايجابية من حولك”…
    للأسف، لا يُمكن ابدا بهذه البساطة. علم الأحياء الخاص بك من الصعب إن لم يكن من المستحيل إعادة الأسلاك ببساطة. رغباتك الأساسية وطموحاتك قد تدفعك باتجاه ولكن يبدو أن كيمياء دماغك في معركة ضدك.

الاكتئاب يمكن أن يشوّه رؤيتك للواقع بشكل دراماتيكي. وهذه الأفكار السلبية التي نسجتها سوف تكون في الواقع الفعلي هي واقعك. ويمكن أن تسود لدرجة أنه حتى عندما تراقب حياتك فإنه يصعب العثور على الفخر فى الانجازات السابقة. ومن وجهة نظر الدخيل بشأن الحالة ستكون مختلفة بشكل صارخ عن ما يمر بها الشخص المكتئب.

  1. “لا تقلق، نحن الى جانبك. مشاركة المزيد عن شعورك سيساعد”…
    بينما في بعض الأحيان مشاركة مشاكلنا يُمكن أن يُفيد، المكتئبون كثيراً ما يترددون في إلقاء هذا الحمل على الآخرين. فهم حسّاسون جدا حول هذه المسألة، وخصوصاً أن بعضهم من غير المحتمل أن يفهموا حقيقة شعورهم. آخر شيء يريدونه هو شخص يعتقد أنهم متذمّرون أو يهوّلون مدى سوء شعورهم الداخلي.

فهم يعون تماماً لحقيقة أن معظم الناس لا يعرفون كيفية التفاعل مع ما يشعرون به. ليس كل الأشخاص يدركون بما فيه الكفاية عن عدم اتخاذ هذه المشاعر بصورة شخصية.

  1. “احصل على روتينك اليومي، وسوف تبدأ الشعور بشكل أفضل حتى قبل ان تُدرك ذلك”…
    عندما تكون مكتئباً، حتى تجاوز الروتين اليومي يمكن أن يكون بطيئا وغير مستقر. ببساطة النهوض من على السرير، وتهيئة نفسك لهذا اليوم، الأكل وحتى النوم يصبح عمل روتيني مضطرب. وعلاوة على ذلك، إنها ليست شيئاً ممكن أن يحل الاكتئاب بأى شكل من الاشكال.

تُصبح معضلة رهيبة أن تشعر أنك معزول تماماً، مُحبط تماماً عن الإنخراط في المجتمع. الخروج وإخبار أصدقائك لماذا يكون من الصعب التعامل مع الاكتئاب في حد ذاته. حتى مع العلاج والأدوية والتمرين والنوم واتباع نظام غذائي صحي، الاكتئاب ليس دائما يختفي من غير رجعة.

  1. ” لو تحاول أن تكون أكثر إيجابية، أنا متأكد أنك ستشعر بتحسن كبير”…
    لسوء الحظ، فإن طريق التعافي من الاكتئاب يمكن أن يكون شاقاً ولا يخلو من العثرات. الذين يعانون من الاكتئاب في كثير من الأحيان يضمنون وعورة الطريق، فعندما يبدؤون الشعور بالتحسن يمكن أن يعودوا للوراء إلى المربع الأول في اليوم التالي.

إنها تجربة محبطة تماماً، القول لهم ببساطة أن يحاولوا أكثر أن يكونوا إيجابيين فهذا لا يثبت فهماً جيداً لمعاناتهم.

  1. “وضع أهداف لنفسك والتركيز على تحقيقها سوف يساعدك على الخروج من هذا الروتين”…
    المكتئبون لا يتذوقون نفس الطعم الجميل من الرضا على إنجازاتهم كما نشعر. النغمة المملة من الاكتئاب لا تسمح لهم بالحصول على السعادة والطاقة بعد النجاح.

في الواقع، المكتئبون قد يكونوا في قمة الأداء في مجالهم، النجاح لا يخفف دائماً من اكتئابهم.

  1. “عندما تستعيد السيطرة على عواطفك سوف تتخلص من الاكتئاب”…
    الشيء الصعب والمخادع حول الاكتئاب هو أنه معركة عاطفية و جسدية على حد سواء. عندما تعتقد أنك قد استعدت السيطرة على عواطفك، المشاكل الجسدية مثل الصداع والارهاق وفقدان الشهية يمكن أن يشعلهم مرة أخرى.
    اذا أردت مساعدة الأشخاص الذين يعانون من الاكتئاب تحتاج إلى فهم أنهم يخوضون باستمرار معارك على جبهتين!
    http://www.lifehack.org

 

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“كوكايين العلاقات” هل أنت مدمن؟

كوكايين العلاقات” هل أنت مدمن؟

الإثنين 5-12-2016

إعداد مارية الحلبي معالجة نفسية من فريق دكتور خليل فاضل

اللوم هو كوكايين العلاقات، تسبب الادمان، حرفياً الاعتماد الجسدي، الأسوأ أنها مدمرة لحياتك العاطفية كما تفعل النخدرات لجسدك.
ليس المقصود في هذه المقالة الادمان على تعاطي مادة ما، بل المقصود هو ادمان سلوك ما بطريقة ما تؤثر عليك سلباً، وبما يدمر الألفة في العلاقة مع الآخرين.
نحن نتحدث عن هذه العادة الخبيثة اللوم. إلقاء اللوم على شريك حياتك (أو على نفسك أو على أي أحد) يمكن أن يصبح فعلاً إدمان، عاده أنت وشريك حياتك يمكن أن تدمنوا عليها، والتي تستنزف ببطء الطاقة الحيوية من علاقتكما.
إذن اللوم هو كوكايين العلاقات. وقد يكون أكثر خطورة، لأننا في كثير من الأحيان لا نعرف أننا نفعل ذلك، ونحن بالتأكيد لا ندرك مدى مساوئها لأجسامنا وأرواحنا.
نحن نعتقد أن اللوم سوف “يصلّح” كل ما يحدث بيننا، أو أن يجعل شريكنا يتغير، ولكن هذا حقاً يخلق المزيد من الألم والبعد بين الشريكين.
إنه يعمل حتى أسرع من الكوكايين، خلق هزة فورية في أجسامنا. إنه قد “يشعر بالارتياح” في لحظتها، ولكنه دورة مستديمة تجعل الألفة والتواصل مستحيلة.
الإدمان يعتبر من آليات المواجهة الغير فعالة:
وإليك كيف يعمل:
أولاً أنت تهرب من شيء آخر: عادة ما يكون ألم عاطفي، عدم الرضا، أو حتى الملل. لأن هذه المشاعر غالباً ما تكون صعبة في التعامل معها وتتطلب تحمل المسؤولية، فإننا نميل إلى دفعها بعيداً. وأسهل طريقة للقيام بذلك هي من خلال السلوك الادماني.
الادمان بمثابة مضيعة للوقت: أنت مخدر وغير مستعد لتجنب مواجهة القضية الحقيقية. إذا كنت مفرط في إدمانك، ليس لديك الوقت، ولا الحضور الذهني، أو الموارد اللازمة لمعالجة الأسباب.
وفى الوقت نفسه، تحصل على “ذروة” الأدرينالين في كل مرة تفرط في الادمان.
المشكلة مع الأدرينالين هو أنه يجعلك تشعر أنك على قيد الحياة، ولكن لفترة قصيرة.
على ماذا يتستر الادمان على اللوم في علاقتك؟
إلقاء اللوم يكون علي نمط مشابه جداً في العلاقات الحميمة.
عند إلقاء اللوم على شريك حياتك، لأنك تغفل مؤقتاً التركيز على نفسك ورميها على الشخص الآخر. بدلاً من تحمل مسؤولية الجزء الخاص بك.
لا يمكن أن تمرّ ساعة دون التفكير النقدي، أو أن نبحث عن أسباب لإلقاء اللوم كلما كان باستطاعتنا..
عندما يدخل كلا الشركين في اللوم، فإنه يمكن أن يكون بديلا عن كل نقص في الألفة، العلاقة الحميمة والتواصل في العلاقة.
الانخراط في اللوم يخلق مشاعر مكثفة، ولكن ليس من النوع الجيد. بدلا من المساهمة معاً من أجل حل المشكلة، الاشارة “بأصابع الاتهام” على بعضهم البعض ومحاولة لكسب موقف واندفاع شعور “كونك على حق.”
أطلق كل حواسك – تماماً كما تكون عند ممارسة الجنس – لكنها حواس المعارضة بدلاً من الوئام.
أنت تحتاج الى ازالة اللوم من علاقتك، أو لن تشعر بالفرح والتواصل الذي تتوق إليه.
عندما ننهي اللوم، تبدأ في الازدهار والنجاح
لو اتخذت قرار القضاء على اللوم من حياتك ستندهش من كمية طاقتك الايجابية العميقة والحيوية التي حلت محلها، ويحدث شيء سحري : فجأة تجد أن لديك الكثير من الوقت بين يديك!
الوقت لإنشاء العلاقة التي تريدها. للمرح والضحك، لهواياتك، لأطفالك وللاعتناء بنفسك.
وبدلاً من تركيز طاقتك على “كسب الجدال” و” أن تكون على حق” والشكوى من بعضكم البعض، يمكنك الآن التركيز على ما سيجعلك تشعر بالارتياح والسعادة كإنسان.
دائرة الادمان تفقد سيطرتها، والألفة تعود لمكانها.

 

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طرق العلاج النفسي بدون أدوية، ما هي؟ متى وأين تستخدم، وفي أي الحالات؟

طرق العلاج النفسي بدون أدوية، ما هي؟ متى وأين تستخدم، وفي أي الحالات؟

الخميس 8-12-2016

بقلم د. خليل فاضل
طرق العلاج النفسي بدون أدوية، ما هي؟ متى وأين تستخدم، وفي أي الحالات؟ هل تأثيرها إيحائي أم أن هناك تغيرات حقيقية كيميائية تحدث في المخ؟

المفهوم العام لدى الناس أن العلاج النفسـي هو مجرد كلام، حتى أن بعض الأطباء من غير التخصص، يعتقدون بأن كل ذلك مجرد هراء، والمهذبون منه يظنون أنه محض إيحاء.

أما أغلب اطباء النفس فيعتقدون إعتقادًا راسخًا، أن المرض والاضطراب النفسي عملية كيميائية بحتة، لا تعالج إلا بالعقاقير النفسية فقط، في حين أثبت البحث العلمي أن مزاوجة الدواء بالعلاج النفسـي الحواري مُهمة للغايـة، وتؤتي ثمارًا لا يمكن إتيانها بالدواء فقط، أو بالحوار فقط.

إن تقرير منظمة الصحة العالمية لسنة 2002 يقول إن العلاج النفسـي بالحوار والمواجهة والتحليل، يصل إلى مراكز في المخ لا يصل إليها الـدواء، ونحن مجازًا نقول (العلاج النفسـي بالكلام)، وحقيقة الأمر إنه يتخطى أبعاد ذلـك بكثير، لأن العلاج النفسـي عملية متكاملة يكون الكلام جزء منها، بينما كثيرًا ما يشكل الصمت بُعدًا لا يُستهان به.

في أحد المؤتمرات للعلاج النفسـي في أمريكا صارح د.ميللر مُستمعيه، أنه عالج مريضًا لمدة سنة ونصف، معظمها كان صمتًا من جانبه، وأحيانًا كان بعض الصمت من جانب المريض، كان د. ميللر يقول (همم…. آآه…)، كان المريض يحجز الجلسة يأخذ مترو الأنفاق، يلتزم، يدفع الفيزيتا، ينتظر، يحيي الدكتور المعالج، يستلقي على الشيزلونج (أريكة فرويد) يبوح بذات نفسه (وهذا غير الفضفضة أو الدردشة، أو أن تحكي لأحد الوالدين أو لصديق على وأنت جالس على المقهى، وليست بالطبع “طق حنك” أو ” فش خلق”، لكن علاج نفسي حقيقي له بناء واستراتيجية).

نعود للدكتور ميللر الذي شفى مريضه نهائيا ليس بمعنى اختفاء الأعراض، لكن بمعنى أنـه أصبح مُنتجًا سعيدًا مُستمتعًا ويعيش حياته بكل جوانحها، ليس فقط لمجرد أنه يحيا. استشعر د. ميللر أنه كان ضنينًا في القول مع مريضه (لكن هكذا التحليل النفسـي والعلاج العميق، لكن المريض نفسه أوضح لمعالجه د. ميللر العملية Process التي مرَّ بها في رحلة علاجه، وكيف أن البوح في حضـرة خبير وأستاذ متمكن له أصول وقواعد ونتائج لا يمكن تجاهلها، لقد أثبت البحث العلمي بدراسات معقدة منها الفحص بالرنين المغناطيسـي للمخ، أنه مختلف جيد ونشط، وكما تتغير كيمياء المخ في حالة مرضى الاكتئاب او الذين يتعرضون (لكرب ما بعد

الصدمة) PTSD سلبًا فإنه نفس المخ يستجيب وينتبه ويكتسب مرونة ولدونة مع العلاج النفسـي العميق يتفكيك الوعي وإعادة بناؤه، فأنا أشبهها بأن المتعالج لديه أوراق لعب (هم وغم واضطرابات ومشاكل وضعف وانحراف ) والمعالج الطبيب لديه أوراق لعب منها (خبرة حياتية، علم، حنكة، قدرات ) وكل الأوراق تكون على الطاولة أمام الاثنين ويبدأ اللعب فاترًا فيه خوف في البداية ثم يغوص ويتأثر وقد يحدث ألم فظيع ثم انعطافه بسيطة عن الطريق العام ثم العودة الأصيلة لطريق التقدم، ولقد علمني أحد مرضاي في احدى جلساته العميقة الطويلة كيف يمكن أن تكون اغنية الممثل احمد زكي في فيلم النمر الاسود نبرات وهداية طاقة، شعلة، كيف ان صديق عمره مر على بيته في منتصف الليل ليهديه الأغنية على كاسيت (من بتوع زمان)، في وسط الحوار (الديالوج ) بيني وبين مريضي الذي كان يرثي والده الذي توفى من زمان وتركه (وكان نفسه ان يكون صاحبه)، وهو يحكي عن واقعة موت ابيه دون انهيار أو بكاء خارجي لكنه داخليا كان ينكسر كخشب المراكب في خضم عاصفة هوجاء.

(هذا هو لب العلاج النفسي، اخراج ما يكتم فلا يقل، بطريقة معينة، وإخراج الطاقة السلبية التي تشير إلى الوراء، كان يغني وسط جلسته وهو مستلق على الشيزلونج : اتقدم، اتقدم، اتقدم وكفاية خلاص تتندم، للشمس للنور، مش هيعطلنا سور، طول ما الدنيا تدور أنا من الدنيا هتعلم، كان يلوح بقبضة يده وهو نصف نائم بفعل الجو العام وجسده المسترخي على اريكة فرويد والإضاءة الخافتة، كان مشهدا دراميا علاجيا له اكبر

نعود إلى اثباتات العلم الحديث التي استمرت لاكثر من عشرين سنة من فحص نسيج المخ، تدفق الدم فيه، المسارات العصبية، التكوينات الداخلية لمرضى الاكتئاب والتوتر والقلق، واضطراب الشخصية الجدية BPD وقورنت علاجات مثل : العلاج المعرفي السلوكي CBT والعلاج الحواري الديالكتيكي DBT والعلاج النفسي العميق Psychodynamic psychoth ووجدت الدراسات أن هناك تفوقا في نتائج العلاج النفسي بدون دواء مع مزج عقاقير في الحالات الصعبة في بدايتها، لكن في كل أحوال العلاج النفسي وجدت تغيرات حيوية ملحوظة ومستمرة. وكثيرًا ما يقولون ليس نوع العلاج هو الذي يهم لكن من يقوم به (المعالج – الدكتور) لأن خصائصه الشخصية وبناءه النفسي ضروري كذلك لا يدركه من تلقى تحليل نفسي واشراف من خبير يكبره في السن قبل أن يقدم على علاج اليأس مما قد يؤدي إلى نتائج مدمرة للمريض وكما قال أحد المعالجين الذين يمتكلون الصراحة الكافية لاحد مرضاه (لن أتمكن من علاجك نفسيا بالحوار لإني لا أريد أن أعبث بمخك – مش عايز الغوص في عقلك الباطن)، كانت امانة واعتراف وصراحة نادرة، مشي بعدها المريض وتوجه إلى معالج آخر.

من أكثر العلاجات المثيرة للجدل هي علاج اضطراب كرب ما بعد الصدمة PTSD XXX نتيجة مشاهدة أهوال الحروب أو الشوارع مثلما يحدث في مصر الآن او التعرض للاغتصاب أو الانتهاك أو حتى الاحراج والسخرية أو مشاهدة

عنف متلفز وما إليه، نبهت منظمة الصحة العالمية WHO في 2013 إلى أن الأطباء النفسيين في العالم تعودوا على وصف المهدئات وإهمال العلاج النفسي بالطمأنة والتحليل، وقالت WHO أن بعض العقاقير يتعود عليها المصاب وقد يدمنها، كما أنها تعطل عملية الشفاء (الشرق الأوسط – 14 – 8 – 2013)

كتبت إحداهن على لوحة صفحتها على الفيس بوك (الصراع اللي بين العقل والقلب حاجة بنت كلب)، جعلت هذه المقولة شعارها، القلب هنا كما يقصده معظم الناس هو النفس، وهي تقصد فيما تقصد أنها فإذا تركت صاجبتنا العنان لنفسها لقلبها، لعواطفها، لاشتهاءاتها دون أي ضابط أو راسط من العقل (الأنا العليا – الاخلاق، الضمير) في مواجهة الهو (اللذة الحالية) يكاد الأمر صعبا جدًا في مجتمع (ابن كلب) كما هي وصفته من خلال وصف الصراع بين العقل والقلب، وفي مقابلة أخرى مع رجل في السادسة والسبعين من عمره يعشق ويحب ويعيش على ذكرى البرازيلية ذات الجسد النحاسي الذي يشع ضوءًا شمسيًا دافئًا قاتلا والتركية ذات الوجه الأبيض والشعر الأسود المجعد التي تملأ القلب نورًا وضياءًا، وزوجته التي تدقق في حركاته وتحركاته، ترصدها وتلف حول عنقه حبلا من الالتزام الزواجي المفروض بالأمر، احب هذا الرجل امراة التقاها صدفة، كانت تصغره بحوالي عشرين عاما، ولما كانت متزوجة أخبرته أنه من المستحيل أن يتزوجا كما أنها لا تسمح نفسها بإقامة علاقة خارج إطار الزواج، هنا سألها العاشق الكهل، ترى هي أين المقابر التي تضم رفات أبيك، فغرت سوزان الدهشة فأهنها وقالت لماذا؟ فأجاب الرجل بسرعة، بما أنه لا يمكنني الاقتران بك في الحياة الدنيا، إذن فلأطلب يدك من أبيك حتى نتمكن من الزواج في الآخرة، لم تضحك سوزان، ولم ينصرف العاشق لكنه تمتم لنفسه (القلب يعشق، والعقل قواد)، كان يقصد في إشارة واضحة وكأنه يرد على صاحبة الفيس بوك، أن من حق القلب أن يعشق في جنون وأن يقول ما يشاء ويكون ما يشاء ويهذي وليحمه العقل، (يقوده) وكأنه القواد الأكبر يقود المومس الفاضلة ولنتصورها وردة الصحراء، في الرواية العبقرية (قواعد العشق الأربعون) لإيليف شافاق (إن الإيمان لدى مثل بستان فيه ورود مخفية طفت فيه ذات يوم، استنشق الروائح العطرة، لكن لم يك بإمكانه دخوله أريد ان يعود الله صديقي كما كان ذات مرة، وبهذا الشوق أدور حول الحديقة، أبحث عن مدخل، لعلي أجد بوابة تمكنني من الدخول، وهكذا يبحث العاشق العجوز عن وردة، ويصور له عقله الزواج بمن يحبها حبا مستحيلا في الآخرة، إنها حيل النفس الدفاعية.

نعود إلى سبل العلاج النفسي بدون دواء، هو تفاعل علاجي بين معالج ومتعالج يتفقان فيه على ذلك لقاء ثمن يدفعه المريض، ترصد بعض الدرايات، ومن واقع عملي في المملكة المتحدة حيث إمكانية العلاج النفسي المجاني تحت غطاء التأمين الصحي العام، ان اغلب من لا يدفعون ثمنا من (عرقهم) لقاء تحررهم النفسي من أعراضهم والتميز في مجال عملهم والاستمتاع بحياتهم لا يتقدمون قيد أنملة، فالمصري يقول (أبو بلاش بلاش منه، لأنه يحس باللاقيمة في العملية كلها) العلاج يكون وديا، أو لاثنين (زوجين) أو أم وابنها ( منتشرة جدًا حالات الصراع

الأسري في المنطقة العربية، أو زوجين أو مشروع زوجين او علاج أسري (لكامل أفراد الأسرة ) أو لمجموعة من الناس (العلاج الجمعي – السيكودراما).

في كل الأحوال لابد أن يكون المريض او المتعالج ذا ذهنية سيكولوجية (بمعنى أنه يتمكن من فهم عملية البوح والفهم وتفسير امور حياته على نحو نفسي)، فمن غير المعقول أن يحاور المعالج مريضه وهو يعاني من مرض عضوي شديد أو فقر ثقافة او قلة ذكاء مثلا وعادة فإن المرض الصغار السن الجذابين الأذكياء غير المرتبطين أسهل في علاجهم ويؤتون ثمارًا سريعة، ومن خبرتي في هذا المجال وجدت أن مزج العلاج بالسيكودراما مع العلاج الفردي (وجها لوجه) يحرق مراحل ويكشف أعماق ويتطرق لمشكلات تعصي على العلاج الفردي فقط تختلف المشكلات في درجة تعقدها، تشابكها، التصاقها ببنية الشخص، ارتباطها بالبيئة المحيطة (البيئة المعادية للعلاج تهدم وتدمر فرص الشفاء)، إن حلول المشاكل وفرص التطور وتحقيق الذات تعتمد على امور شتى، لذلك وجب أخذ تاريخ مفصل للحالة للإنسان للمشكلة للبيئة : ماذا يسمع، ماذا يهوي، كيف يعيش، ما الذي يحلم به في يقظته

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How to Stop Being Judgmental كيف تتوقف عن كونك شخصية حكمية (كثير الحكم على الناس)

How to Stop Being Judgmental كيف تتوقف عن كونك شخصية حكمية (كثير الحكم على الناس)

السبت 24-12-2016

اعداد مارية الحلبي معالجة نفسية من فريق دكتور خليل فاضل
نحن نبذل الكثير من وقتنا وجهدنا في الحكم على الآخرين. ويبدو أنه من خلال الحكم على الآخرين نشعر بالتفوق عليهم مما يجعلنا نشعر مؤقتا أننا أحسن – أنه يقوي الأنا لدينا. ولكن هذا الشعور هو قصير الأمد، في حين أن سلوكنا الحكمي له عواقب سلبية هائلة حيث نميل إلى تفصيل الناس عن بعضهم البعض، وهذا بدوره يخلق الصراع الاجتماعي والمعاناة.
إذا كنا نريد أن نشعر أننا متحدين مع باقي البشر مرة أخرى، نحتاج إلى كسر عادة الحكم عليهم، حتى نتمكن من البدء في النظر إليهم على ما هم عليه حقاً، من دون المفاهيم الخاطئة. ستجد 3 نصائح هامة لفتح قلبك حول كيفية التوقف عن كونك شخصية حكمية، هذه النصائح ستساعدك على تطوير سلوك أكثر تعاطفا تجاه الناس وأن تعيش معهم بسلام.

  1. استيعاب من أين جاءوا
    السبب الأساسي وراء اطلاق أحكامنا على الناس هو أننا حقا لا نفهمهم. ولأننا لا نفهمهم، بسرعة نطلق عليهم الأحكام.
    على سبيل المثال، إذا كان شخص يتصرف بطريقة بغيضة ، نسميه أو نسميها “الشر”. والحقيقة هي أنه بكل الأحوال ليس هنالك أي شخص هو خير أو شر مطلق ، واتهامهم بذلك فإننا نبني جدار بيننا وبينهم لا يسمح لنا أن نعرف من هم حقاً. والشخص الذي يتصرف بطريقة بغيضة في الواقع ليس سوى شخص مع ماض قاس – شخص خضع للصعوبات والتجارب المؤلمة التي مرت عليه، والذي يحاول مواجهة الحياة بهذه الطريقة.

بوضع نفسك فى مكان الناس وفهم قصتهم، خلفيتهم والظروف الحالية التي يعيشون فيها، سوف تبدأ ببلورة موقف غير حكمي تجاههم من شأنه أن يساعدك على أن تراهم تحت ضوء جديد، سوف تراهم بوضوح كما هم، بدون أحكام مسبقة تشوه ذواتهم الحقيقية.

  1. اقبلهم بعيوبهم
    ومن الحقائق التي لا يمكن إنكارها أن كل إنسان لديه عيوب ويرتكب الأخطاء في الحياة. ليس هناك من هو أو يمكن أن يكون مثالي، وبالتالي لا ينبغي لنا أن نتوقع أن يكون الناس على هذا النحو.

العديد من المرات نحكم على الآخرين لأنهم ليسوا كما توقعناهم أو بسبب كونهم لا ينسجمون مع الصورة المثالية التي افترضناها عنهم. والحقيقة هي أن كل شخص على الأرض هو شخص فريد ونحن بحاجة إلى قبول الناس كما هم، دون فرض أفكارنا للكيفية التي ينبغي أن يكونوا عليها.

يتعين علينا ان نحتضن الآخرين مع مجمل وجودنا، وبفعل هذا مرة واحدة فقط، يمكن أن تنمو الرحمة الحقيقية داخلنا. بالطبع، هذا لا يعني أننا يجب أن لا تنتقد أفكار وسلوك الناس، قدم لهم النصيحة أو ساعدهم بأي وسيلة ممكنة لتحسين مستوى حياتهم. ولكن علينا أن ندرك أن الجميع يواجه المشاكل والتحديات خلال رحلة حياتهم، والحكم عليهم لعدم كونهم مثاليين يكون حكم قاسي وغير ناضج.

  1. أحببهم دون شروط
    ماذا نجني بالحكم على الآخرين وأن نكون قاسين عليهم؟ لا شى. الحكم لا يساعد أي شخص بأي شكل من الأشكال. أنها تساعد فقط في بناء الجدران حول قلوبنا تمنعنا من الاتصال مع الناس وبناء علاقات سليمة معهم.
    لقد حان الوقت أن نكسر تلك الجدران وتدمير وهم الانفصال. لقد حان الوقت لكي نحتضن بعضنا البعض من خلال اظهار الحب غير المشروط. بحكمنا على الآخرين، فإننا ننفصل عنهم، والحب وحده يمكن أن يساعدنا أن نفتح قلوبنا ونشعر أنا متحدون مرة أخرى.
    الحب هو الفهم النهائي والسبيل الوحيد لشفاء أنفسنا وخلق عالم أكثر جمالا.

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